The Laundry Room Mystery

I had to do laundry today. I normally do it on Monday but I wasn’t doing anything so I figure I’d do it now.

I live in a Co-Opt and we have laundry rooms on site. I’m walking down the stairs to the laundry room and look in the window to see if any of the washers are open. There’s four washers open, 32, 33, 34, and 35. A young girl is in the room putting clothes in washer 32. I go into the room and she’s putting clothes in washer 34 also. Now I’m thinking she’s gonna put stuff in 33 also. I ask her if she’s going to use 33. She says no.

To me this makes no sense. My “Monk” comes out. Why would she go from washer 32, skip 33, then go to 34? I asked her if there was something wrong with 33.  She said no. I was hoping she would give some kind of hint why she skipped 33.

Anyway, I put my clothes in washer 33 and 35, with her clothes between mine. I go to pick up my laundry later and there’s nothing wrong with 33.

If I was ever married to this girl, it would drive me crazy.

Sherlock Holmes and The Moutain Of Snow

I go out this morning to shovel my car out of my parking spot. As I’m walking to my parking spot, I’m checking out how much snow is behind each car so I have an idea what to expect when I get to my spot. I”m walking and I notice my spot is twice as high as the other spots. I see the spot next to me is empty. The guy has his car out and is cleaning up his parking spot. I look at the mound of snow behind my car and I don’t see where he is dumping the snow he shoveled. Most people put the snow in the middle of the street.

You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure this out, but I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat anyway. No snow in the street and twice as high behind my car.

Then the guy starts to talk to me. He’s complaining about the snow removal, how high the maintenance is and everything else you can think of.  Then he says to me, “I didn’t know where to throw the snow.” I didn’t say anything to him. I should have said, “I knew where you threw it, right behind my car.”

Bad Day At Snow Rock

I got a ton of snow by me the other day
Yesterday started off bad. My mother has been in the hospital almost three weeks now. So I was going to go to the diner then the hospital. I dig out my car, pull out of the parking lot and turn on to the street when I feel like something is wrong. Don’t know how it happened but my front right tire went from full to flat in one second. I had to change the tire in the middle of a snow storm. Then I’m driving to the diner and notice the car is low in the front right. I pull into the diner parking lot and check the tire pressure and it’s 5 pounds, when it should be 30. Couldn’t go to the hospital, had to turn around and find a gas station that was open and fill up the tire.
Hopefully Pep Boys will be open tomorrow and they can fix the flat.

Doctor Who


Wasn’t on my desk a minute ago.

Boring Sex Life

The only sex I get is when I go to the dinner and the waitress calls me “honey.”


The Five TV Show

 Here’s how to get ratings up for “The Five.”

1. Broadcast it in “picture in a picture.” On the bottom left of the screen have The Five tv show in a small box. In the big picture have Kimberly Guilfoyle’s legs.

2. Make it interactive. Have it so you have a remote control and every time Greg Gutfeld speaks, and you can shoot a band-aid over his mouth.

Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz

Now I know who Ted Cruz looks like.



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