A Jar Of Pickles

I went to the doctor the other day and he had me open a jar of pickles. Took a while but I opened it. The doctor looked at me and said, “you’re in good health.”

It’s good to know that medical profession has come so far.

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Ronald Reagan, Come Back

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Elvis and The Grateful Dead

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I just started reading this book “Elvis and The Grateful Dead.” When I first saw the cover, I thought it was about Elvis Presley and The Grateful Dead. Turns out Elvis is a basset hound who thinks he’s Elvis Presley reincarnated. The Grateful Dead part are the two (so far) Elvis impersonators who died. Elvis (the dog) thinks they sang so bad, they’re Grateful to be Dead.

I got the book cheap and figured what the hell. I’m glad I bought it. So far it’s really good.

I just got done reading a Rad Bradbury book, so this is a nice change of pace.

 

The Greatest Superband Ever

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I Never Thought About It This Way

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Hannity’s Hair

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Every time I watch the Hannity Show, I keep looking at his hair. He could be ramblin’ on, talking for a half hour and I would not hear a word he said. I keep staring at his bad haircut.

What’s up with that part? It’s too low to be parted in the middle and too high to be parted on the side. It’s in the “Twilight Zone.”

It looks like it’s cut so the part should be lower. I think when he goes to the barber, the barber lowers the part and cuts it the right way. Then Hannity goes home and raises the part which messes up the haircut.

The sad thing about this is that nobody tells him how funny it looks.

Bring The Outside In

I watch some of these home improvement shows and all say the same thing. They want to bring the outside in. Make it one big space. Inside and out, all one.

Are these people for real? There’s a reason I have screens on my windows and a screen door. If I open my doors and windows and bring the outside in, I’ll have bugs all over the place. It’s amazing how they never mention this on the shows. The doors and windows are wide open, bugs don’t go in?

These people must live on a planet that has no bugs.

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