Going food shopping by me is always an adventure. First you get these ladies in the parking lot who don’t know how to drive. They’ll try to squeeze into a small spot while blocking traffic. The entire other side of the parking aisle will be empty, but they have to squeeze into that little spot because it’s one space closer to the store.
Then walking into the store I run into people I call “The Wanderers.” These are people that have no concept that there’s other people around. They’ll just backup into you. Cut you off when you’re trying to walk past them. The best part, after they bump into you, they just ignore you and keep on walking waiting to get their next victim.
Now we come to my favorite. The parents that won’t control their kids. They’re always right in front of me and won’t let me pass. After waiting for an opening to pass, and saying excuse me fifty time, I just ram through. Lookout motherfuckers, here I come. So I say, I’ll skip the next aisle so I don’t run into them. I go down two aisles over, and there they are. Like they read my mind. Why didn’t they go down the next aisle and how did they get there before me. Is there a shortcut through the shelves. No way they should have got there before me, but there they are. Blocking everybody and destroy the store.
Alright, I’ll got and get cold cuts. Wouldn’t you know it, they have the number right before me. How do they manage to get right before me before I get there. It’s like the Twilight Zone. I expect to walk past Rod Serling and see him talking into cameras commenting on my personal hell.