Tag: Random

Baseball Reruns

TV and even radio has been running old baseball games. TV is doing something I find annoying. They’re telling you what’s going to happen. There’s a game on MLB channnel that says on the bottom of the screen, “George Brett, 4 hits, 2 HR’s.” Now I know when Brett gets up he’ll either get a hit or HR.

The other day they were replaying Johan Santana’s perfect game. Why watch it. You know the other team isn’t getting on base.

The thing about watching a no-hitter live, is the anticipation of whether he’s gonna get it or not. If you’re watching it on tape, you know he got it. So all you got now is a boring game.

The Aliens Have It Right

Those aliens are a lot smarter then we are. They travel many light years to get to us and we got a far as the moon. They must know a lot more then us.

When aliens abduct people, what do they say the aliens do to them. They stick something up their ass. I don’t think they’re doing this for kicks. If they want kicks, they can do it in their own neighborhood.

They’re doing it for medical reasons. I think there’s a socket up our ass and the aliens have the right plug for it. They plug it in and it gives you a readout of our entire body, even your DNA makeup. Tells you everything. It’s like taking your car to the dealer and they plug it into the computer. It’s tell you what’s wrong with you. And maybe they can tweak it so it heals.

Once we figure out how the aliens do this. You won’t have to go for all the test the doctors send you for. All you have to do, it go into the office, bend over, he plugs the plug into the socket, and you have everything in a minute.